Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise

Melbourne Cup Luncheon 2009

2008-11-05T15:31:00.000+08:00

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGI7debjLI/AAAAAAAAA6c/bLoR1ZvBIIM/s400/Melbourne+Cup-+Races.jpg" border="0" />http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGK2Q-PU_I/AAAAAAAAA7E/5gXZooEtA3Q/s1600-h/Melb+Cup+Work+Lunch.jpg">>

I'm never a fan of horse-racing, and have not even been on a live one! In saying that, the closest I have come to racing was during my short stint in the audit at the Singapore Turf Club. It was interesting to look at the distinction in crowd that pour in on a race night. They either came in hordes from the back gate via the public train, or, the VIPs would pull up at the front porch in attention-grabbing luxurious cars. I used to feel really odd walking off home after work in the opposite direction from the crowd's flow.

It was yet another year of work luncheon over the big race of the year yesterday. Melbourne Cup 2009 marked more than 16 months of my service with the resort. I wonder how I made it through the one year mark in the first place. After whining over the same things over and over at least 2 - 3 times a week, over 16 months, I'm really surprised that I'm not yet sick of complaining!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGI7lptBBI/AAAAAAAAA6k/yKr0SD7Al8w/s400/Melbourne+Cup.jpg" border="0" /> Melbourne Cup and wine goes hand in hand. Wise Wine was our sponsor =)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGI7q79SGI/AAAAAAAAA6s/nnc8f-BwI_8/s400/Melbourne+Cup+Food.jpg" border="0" />

Good food, and great presentation, is not any paler by comparison!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGKM9Tyo9I/AAAAAAAAA60/FrVs0yhc7A0/s1600-h/My+Office.jpg"> id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265141394593457106" style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 279px" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGKM9Tyo9I/AAAAAAAAA60/FrVs0yhc7A0/s400/My+Office.jpg" border="0" /> http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGK2W-7wwI/AAAAAAAAA68/U8M5-eE8zkQ/s1600-h/Drive+to+Marg+River.jpg"> id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265142105859932930" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 281px" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGK2W-7wwI/AAAAAAAAA68/U8M5-eE8zkQ/s400/Drive+to+Marg+River.jpg" border="0" />

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGK2Q-PU_I/AAAAAAAAA7E/5gXZooEtA3Q/s1600-h/Melb+Cup+Work+Lunch.jpg"> id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265142104246408178" style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 262px" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGK2Q-PU_I/AAAAAAAAA7E/5gXZooEtA3Q/s400/Melb+Cup+Work+Lunch.jpg" border="0" />

And photos of my nasty, messy, little office/ work area for the very first time!I was only making my way down to Margaret River after work for dinner with the bosses. I love my red checked high-waist skirt from Forever 21 Singapore. Thanks Sis, for encouraging me to make that purchase! =)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SxiYoHT5ab4/SRGNskDd-CI/AAAAAAAAA7M/nXTsDyxNglM/s400/Liquor+Licensing+Course.jpg" border="0" />My outfit for TODAY's liquor licensing course. The course was great! It's a fresh perspective to look at how another country's rules and regulations differ from Singapore's. The Australian government does takes a serious view on responsible service of alcohol, and in defining the duty of care from licensed venues. With the complicated laws, I just had to laugh my head off when our trainer said that it always pay to have a good corporate legal adviser!

Would soon be time for me to submit my report for compliance (or non-compliance) for our venue! Not exciting at all!

More guilty indulgence

2008-08-30T19:27:00.000+08:00

I HAVE RELOCATED!!!

2006-12-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

The header is just a joke... I have started to blog on Multiply a while ago, cos it's user-friendly enough to suit my IT proficiency level.

http://shwong84.multiply.com/

Mercy On Those Detested SOuls!

2006-07-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

I try not to allow people to irritate me. And I try even harder not to loathe anyone. But some people just make it impossible.

I can't help but feel this sense of injustice inflicted on me by some people who are just weird and illogical. And I cant help but despise people who pretend to be so great and try to undermine me in my back. I am truly disgusted by the pool of incompetent fools (or whatever nouns you can think of) I am surrounded with.

I feel deeply humiliated by people who thinks that Im so desperate for the position. But truly, I feel that the ones who are in a desperate position are the incompetent ones. Well, I pity them. I REALLY DO. I'm proud of how much self worth I have. Therefore, it is not too difficult to have sympathy on people who can only manage to use that tiny bit of operable capacity of their brains to do useless things. I feel so sad for non-achievers who get by in life by telling lies, finding excuses for themselves, shifting blame onto others or simply by taking advantage of people all the time to push ahead of their own agenda.

Some people just have to live a sad life because they're being hated (by me?? haha... I try not to, but please understand how hard it takes...) It's really SAD. I feel sorry for these people sometimes. Well, at least, I bother to feel sorry for them...

BIG SIGH! God, I certainly dont take delight in getting irritated by such people. Please help me to love these people cos THEY"RE SO PATHETIC!! Hahahahaha!!!

2006-07-24T15:13:00.000+08:00

Israeli and Arab TV News Show Different Sides of War

This is interesting...

It's Friday.. But..

2006-05-26T20:35:00.000+08:00

It's Friday again. Add one more week to my stay in Australia please!

It's hard to believe how time flies. The sweet sleep in my cosy bed just the night before my departure doesn't seem to feel that far away. The "Last Thursday in Singapore" that I was talking about with Beng on MSN feels only like yesterday (taking into account that today's indeed Friday, "Last Thursday in Singapore" feels so real). It feels like it was only hours ago when I was fighting back my tears futilely as I watched my mum pulling out a piece of tissue to dry her tears discretely.

Yet, at the same time, I feel that I have been around for so long. That statement must have been the perfect irony.

So much things had happened and I was half-joking with Angela once, that it's a good bargain-- going through quite abit in merely three months. Yes, quite abit, in my own sense of measurement and capacity. I would understand if someone begs to differ. And that was three months, at the point of conversation.

I'm feeling so defeated now. I wouldn't dare to breathe my loneliness and weakness to anyone. I don't think I know where to start from either. I feel like I'm back to the bottom of the pit again. It's not solely because of work and being on my own most of the time that makes me feel sickened of everything. I'm just feeling so down and it annoys me even more when I can't put my fingers on things or even find the strength to pull myself out of the situation.

I really miss the times when I get knocked out the moment I hit my bed. The memories of the comfort of my own home smell so sweet, but sadly, too far away.

But well, God is always fair enough. Someone will always bring consolation at the most unexpected moment. Someone will always draw me away just before I hit the trough. And I thank God for these people...

To give a balanced view of my life here, I learnt to appreciate and came to recognise sincere friends. I certainly know that my poly friends will always be there to lend a listening ear (if I am able to put things across). Elaine's another sweetie who never stops showing her lil' gestures of concern and motivation. To top it all, I made my first real friend here!! In just three months! Cheers!

Just a pity that she'll be heading back to Thailand tonight. Nonetheless, she's a lovely gift from God and I'll never forget the chilly walk back from the dinner.. Our laughter seem to melt away the bitter-cold atmosphere on the streets.

Nothing's going to be too bad and hopeless. I HOPE...

Just another day of doing nothing

2006-05-14T23:01:00.000+08:00

Im the biggest loser of the day. Wasted my time doing nothing much...

Did the laundry... I've just collected the clothes which were hung to dry yesterday. They are still sitting in the laundry basket, looking like a mass of wrinkled thrash.

What other stuff have i been doing? Just sleeping, surfing the net, tempting myself with new fashion designs and bitching with my friends on MSN about work. This is my typical sunday. U wont believe that I can just squander my time and do silly things like this right?

Yeah, I certainly did! Sitting on my ass and getting angry over things.

I hate people who are exploitative

I hate people who are unfeeling

I hate people who are blinded by the speck of dust in their eyes but never bothered to remove them, before they start to find fault with others

I hate people who are unsincere

I hate people who are pretentious

I hate people who cant lead by example

All in all, I just hate people who are crap.

Im just so damn irritated...

And im f**king angry with myself for wasting my time... how did i manage to sleep for so long???

I think Im crap too...

Little gestures that make a difference

2006-05-11T20:26:00.000+08:00

Never under-estimate the power of little thoughtful gestures. It can make a huge difference and brightens up someone's day unknowingly.

El's unexpected mail really warmed my heart. It just brought light to my dreadful day. I have been feeling really down recently. Work bogged me down quite abit and I thought everyone's too far away to understand what I'm going through. I thought emails can never convey how upset I am.

Things got pretty complicated here. But it just surprised me that a simple letter that carries the essence of encouragement and support can make me feel so much better.

One lesson to be learnt today: We often do or say things unintentionally. It can either hurt or brighten someone's day unknowingly.

The other thing to learn is, I can be the only pilot of my own life. I can either choose to apreciate and RECOGNISE the simple gifts of life, or allow nasty things to upset me.

El has always been a thoughtful friend. That's probably one positive thing I need to pick up from her. I've made the mistake of saying awful things to the one I love and has unintentionally hurt them. I have got lots of people who cares and means alot to me. So, I'm not going to allow bad characters at work to bring me down.

Well, besides continuously learning new things about life, we shouldnt forget to seek positivity and appreciation in the gloomy environment that appeared to be plagued by bad elements. I'm still the happy lil' girl, and I'll live.. =)

Friends

2006-02-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

Once, at a certain stage in my life, I felt so betrayed by friends. In the recent 3 or 4 years, i began to feel differently about my circle of friends. I came to know new friends from all walks of life. And I'm especially thankful to friends who have made a difference to my life.

My poly clique helped me to see the importance and responsibility to care for my family. They helped me to realise how to love and recover from love that hurts emotionally. They have motivated me. And they're my confidants. Poly life could never be that enjoyable without them!

Then, I got to know my uni bunch, whom I managed to bond with them, after a while. I realised that even very different people can still be great friends, so long as there is understanding and acceptance. Sincerity counts alot in most friendships.

Even for friends whom I hardly get to meet, they can just understand my emotions easily as i pour my troubles to them. These includes Amy and Sharon.

And then there's this bunch of friends from YMCA. People from different professions, coming together serving the same cause for the less priviledged. It's been a joy volunteering with YMCA, meeting people who went through very different life experiences. They opened up another side of Singapore's society, which is often obscured and neglected.

Really cant bear to leave the friendships that I've built up here. Friends are not easy to come by. And I believe that's especially true as age catches up with a person.

A friend is always someone whom you can count on, whether you get to meet up often or not. The bond is always there, as you remember and treasure the moments when you first get started, and the process of building up the friendship.

Life could never be complete without reliable friends. And of course, dont forget about family members who will always care.

The Zazazu

2005-11-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

A friend forwarded me this email on the Zazazu. I thought that was a strange word! Anyway this email verbalised this confusion in me when I was still battling with my decision about the breakup. Nonetheless, I've made the decision to continue seeking out for that A* grade. I have every freedom and right to experience the most romantic thing in life, even though many would say that romance doesnt equate to love.

But see, life could only be beautiful if I choose to romance and enjoy the chemistry exchange between my partner and I. Sharon was so right when she questioned why we should conform to the norms and conventions. Does marriage really guarantee happiness? If it doesnt, why do I need to settle for anything below A* (A* by my own standards of cos. Who else could be a better judge than me, myself???) when i could possibly be better alone?

I could see myself travelling around half the globe with my lil' backpack, experiencing the sights and sounds of the world, feeling happy and carefree.

One might argue that everyone has their own physical and emotional needs. Therefore, we would be forced to conform to the conventions of getting married and having kids ultimately. Prob with someone who could not meet the grade.

Well, my rhetorical reply would be, someone who could not meet the grade would never be able to satisfy those needs, even though trying hard might make a small difference.

Whatever it is, here goes the zazazu!

The Za Za Zu

This zazazu thing is really hard to find. It seems like that is what we're all searching for, the zazazu guy with the qualities of a good boyfriend. Someone who cares and takes care of you, and on top of that, you must feel the zing whenever you're with him. We debated, should we ever compromise the two factors X & Y, or should we stick to a ratio that we're comfortable with? Yesterday we babes said that we shouldn't settle for less, we should never settle for grade B at our age right now. but what about A-? Or do we want to stick to grade A (the perfect guy with 1:1 ratio of zazazu and boyfriend qualities) before we decide to marry? You must know that zazazu is not equivalent to physical qualities. It's just that special chemical X that each of us will feel about the One.

I was sure that I do not want to marry someone who's not the One. I still believe that he's out there. Sure, we may not be absolutely sure if he is the One but I'm sure of one thing, he should be the person I cannot live without. By that standard, I should be able to make my judgements correctly. I think. I can think of one person that I cannot live without, but there isn't the zazazu, I think. doesn't that contradict? So now I would have to re-access how I can make my conclusion on the One. How about, it should be a feeling, that you would just know? That's something that I have heard from my married friends, that you'll know when he comes along.

So we shouldn't worry too much right? That is, ceteris paribus.

We are all growing. Older by the day. Given that you may want to have kids, maybe 2 kids, you should at least have the first kid before 30. So we count backwards. Prob you'll want to have a married life without kids for 2 years, so that makes you to be 27 to get married. (2 years of mlwk and then 9 mths of pain carrying the baby). And given that a normal dating lifespan is 2 years for you to find out if the r/ship is working out, the latest age that I have to start dating the One is 25.

We thought that we still have 3 blocks of 2-years to find that One. We're seriously wrong. Unless getting married is unimportant, having kids are not a priority. Which I think is the truth for me. Right now at least. who's to say that 5 years from now I won't change my mind? That's when we'll start to panic. And will be then settle for grade B!?! That's a horrifying thought.

Is it better to stay single than to marry grade B? Or how about we settle for grade A- right now? Do we have the luxury of time to make the correct decision right now? Or rather, the luxury of choices? If we are holding on to A-, do we want to give it up in search of A* or do we hold on to A-, just in case? But it's not fair to A- to be kidnapped when you know that there's a high possiblity that marriage will not happen if someone better comes along.

But, what if A* doesn't exist?

We're in limbo most of the time, searching and seeking. L is right, we have to put ourselves out there, we all do. Imagine a big wide open space, the sun rises and sets and all these people stand around, walk around, looking for that person. Time passes and still the same group wanders around. Even those who have found someone, they are still wandering around, 'is he/she the one?'. I can imagine a painting like that. I would like to paint that out.

And so this question remains, what is your own comfortable balance of factor X and Y? Maybe eventually my own would be a ratio of 2:1. I think I'll value the zazazu more. That's so hard to find. so hard.

Updates about Perth

2005-07-27T00:18:00.000+08:00

I know that Ive been real slow. Ive put up a journal entry some time last week relating my 6-day Perth experience on my multiply homepage.

http://shwong84.multiply.com/journal/item/17

Im too lazy and tired to blog more about my Kukop trip. Take a look at my albums at Multiply. They speak a thousand words. My Perth pictures can be found there as well.

What about TRUST?

2005-07-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just get so sick of trying real hard to discern what is right and wrong, or who's speaking the truth. It's really tedious to draw a line to stop myself from being over-suspicious or over-sensitive. Crossing that benchmark would bring me to the other side of the coin. And that makes me someone silly or gullible if I lower my guard a bit too much.

I wish I could slip a lie detector chip in everybody's coat. I just find it hard to see things in positive light. And let alone to trust and believe.

A Hongkonger friend of mine just told me about a heart-breaking discovery about her current guy. How could something that is of material significance be kept from her for two years? I just loathe liars and people who have deliberate intention to withhold dark past from people whom they claim are important to them. I dont understand why they would take so much pains to fabricate phony affections and thrust their helpless victims into a make-believe commitment of love and being together forever, or whatever sort of crap they could think of. I regard such people as purely scums who could only cheat, lie and hide. If i could, I would pack them off to concentration camps where they will be fighting to hide their faces from the light of truth and then be tortured slowly, to pay off their painful debts as hard-breakers.

A malicious proposal to punish liars and heart-breakers?

Check out my scenic photos

2005-07-09T11:40:00.000+08:00

Ive just uploaded some landscape pictures taken at various places in my Multiply photo album.

Do check it out! Will have more pictures to share after I come back from Perth and Kukop! Yay, cant wait for time to fly!

ABC

2005-07-09T11:17:00.000+08:00

This beautiful creation was forwarded by a friend of mine. Hope that those who have read it will find meaning in it.

A B C's TO LIVE BY

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution

is the distance between your knees and the floor.

The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.

Love and peace be with you forever, Amen.

My Favourite Handbags

2005-07-04T00:56:00.001+08:00

Coach

2005-07-04T00:56:00.000+08:00

Coach

2005-07-04T00:55:00.001+08:00

Gucci

2005-07-04T00:55:00.000+08:00

Fendi

My "Catch" of the Day

2005-07-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

Books that I've gotten from Borders today. Just checked out the price of Jung Chang's recent publication. It cost close to 70 bucks! I'll think hard.. =P The Phantom of The Opera DVD was a surprise gift from Jon. I actually got another CD that has got classical music collection. But left I left it in the car's audio player. Buying things just make me feel so happy! Haha..

Counting Down to Perth Trip

2005-07-04T00:14:00.000+08:00

As the weeks went by like a bolt of lightning, I wish I could just hold on tight to this weekend and never let it go. The agenda list for the coming two weeks seem to stretch for at least a yard long. There are so much to be done and yet, even though knowing too well myself that my memory store aint one that has got high storage capacity, I chose to make mental notes instead of putting them down in my neglected PDA. Ahh! My interest in the "toy" that I once longed so much for have worn out- in barely five or six months!

It's not true that I dread the coming school experience where I had to do observations on how teachers conduct classes. In fact, I am looking forward to it. But I just couldnt put my finger on exactly why I have mixed emotions as the day draw nearer. A feeling of dread cos' it signalled that the new semester is starting soon, in about 3 weeks' time. The warning sirens of my weaknesses and inadequacy came pounding hard on me as I imagined how life is going to like in the following week if I cant meet the expectations (if there's any in the first place!).

My Perth trip preparations have been in a mess too! The insurance cover have stated the country region wrongly and I gotta make a call to get them to amend it. There seems like so much to pack as well. The itinery needs to be reviewed and I have yet to follow up with the AUD exchange rate. ArrrGGhhhh! On top of my Perth trip prep, Ive got so much miscellanous stuff to deal with.

I realised that Im really someone who need lots of time alone, taking things slow and easy. Just take this weekend for instance. Jon was on duty and I got the saturday off for myself. My day was wonderful. Spent the whole afternoon watching (and re-winding back to my favourite scenes) Sarah Brightman live concert on DVD. It was a splendid performance. Then, I spent quite a while to do cross-checks on my examination timetable and master timetable. That was tedious... and SILLY!

I spent my Sunday lazing in front of the TV with Jon. And yeah, Im reminiscing the Sarah Brightman DVD! haha.. Then, it was Vortex meeting at 3.30pm. Spent three hours at Borders reading and searching for good bargains. Finally got to utilise part of my $100 gift! I'm really grateful to RuiQiang for this! hee!

Just to fill you guys up with what I've been busy with

2005-06-21T20:46:00.000+08:00

Well, my postings are all over... Here's a link from multiply with a slightly more detailed account of what I've been doing during the holidays.

http://shwong84.multiply.com/journal/item/13

Sch experience will begin in less than two weeks. Cant wait to meet the "monsters" from Cedar Primary! Hee...

2005-06-19T16:45:00.000+08:00

Jen and Darren gave me pair of earrings and a lovely choker! thanks so much for the thoughtful gift! =)

2005-06-19T16:43:00.000+08:00

Zeng Qi and Adrian.. Thanks for the night!

2005-06-19T16:42:00.000+08:00

Kun, Mark, Josef and Niap Hui... hmm... enjoying the great food! hahaz..

2005-06-19T16:40:00.000+08:00

Blowing off the candles for my choc fudge cake.. The cake was heavenly! ohhhh, it's AWFULLY CHOCOLATES.. Check it out at www.awfullychocolates.com

2005-06-19T16:39:00.000+08:00

Wine from Mark Lim and Niap Hui. 2002 Shiraz from Pemberton, Australia =)

2005-06-19T16:37:00.000+08:00

Me and deAr in Malacca

2005-06-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

Lok Lok steamboat in Malacca. The food was great over there. Had chicken riceballs, cheese tarts, wanton mee and beef brisket noodles.. all at really low prices! The Delifrance and kenny rogers are worth eating as well. Prices were something like half of what we are paying in Sg!

2005-06-19T16:33:00.000+08:00

Taken with my poly friends. Another shot taken at my 21st bday celebration.

2005-06-19T16:31:00.000+08:00

Another shot from OUB fashion show.. Casual wear from Von.

2005-06-19T16:30:00.000+08:00

HSBC treetop walk. The suspension bridge took a journey above the trees. The view was fantastic! Also with us during the hike were Mark Lim, Niap Hui, Chon Thye and Daphne.

2005-06-19T16:28:00.000+08:00

Scouts and poly friends

2005-06-19T16:25:00.000+08:00

OUB Fashion show

EnjOyinG life

2005-06-19T16:01:00.000+08:00

My vacation has been great. Went on a Malacca trip, HSBC treetop walk (gosh! that was a total of 11km! took me 4 hours to complete the walk.) and celebrated my 21st bday with my friends yesterday.

Im looking forward to the perth trip!

Monday blues

2005-01-31T13:19:00.000+08:00

Aww, havent been making entries here.. The Monday blues are hitting me badly... Guess what? Im at the GIAS Lab now. History classes gonna start in 10 mins time. Duh!!!!

Trapped

2005-01-23T20:47:00.000+08:00

She's trapped. She realised that he cared alot for her. And she truly appreciate that. But she just felt so uneasy cos she was afraid to fall deeper for him. There was this nudgy feeling that someone else might matter more to him. She wanted to devote more. But an unseen force was holding her back... what should she do about it?

A lady by the Sea...

2005-01-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

She wore a white toga dress.
Her beautiful long tresses were blown around.
Occasionally, wisps of her soft hair brushed gently on her cheeks.

The moonlight illuminated her fair skin.
But she looked somewhat pale under the moonlight,
As if the moon had sapped her energy.

The deep vast sea that roared with rising tides,
Seemed to have engulfed her,
Into a chaotic world of unhappy thoughts.

The ruffles of her dress flipped rhythmatically with the breeze.
She stared into the dark waters,
And watched the tides race on the shores.

For a moment, she wondered how it would feel,
If she were to be at the mercy of these tides.
Would they bring release to her miseries?

She closed her eyes and wished,
That the tides would take her away,
To a sanctuary that no one could hurt her.

Random thoughts of morbidity scurried across her mind.
She imagined that she was floating lifelessly,
In the deep vast sea.

Would anyone care if she were to die at this very instance?

Things that irritate me on a Monday morning

2005-01-10T19:22:00.000+08:00

My alarm clock- It goes off at 6am every Monday morning and that marks the painful beginning of a new week.

The weird commuters- Sometimes I really hate to travel public. All sorts of weird people on board! Aww, I hate to be stepped on the toes and be seated beside the weirdos.

Inconsiderate passengers- I dont understand why some people just refuse to move to the rear of the bus! Dont you know that those in front are packed like sardines?

Dangerous drivers- You are a sore on the roads!

Slow-moving crowd- Sick! cant you move faster? If not, please keep to the side! urgghhh!

Back to school

2005-01-05T19:23:00.000+08:00

It was a gloomy start for the week. With the cool and rainy weather, I slept like a baby till my alarm went off at 6am on a Monday morning. The past 6 weeks of fun and holidays suddenly seemed like a distant dream. Enveloped by the cool morning breeze, I dragged my feet to the MRT station, feeling like an offender who was evicted from Wonderland.

Everthing doesnt feel right. I did not print out the notes for my lectures. The first lecture seriously dampened my mood. Environmental and global issues... uuuFFFfff! It's indeed too heavy to begin the week with. I hate geography! Yucks!

Im more settled by now. But still disorganised... Aww, just gotta let nature take its own course and let the momentum sink in. But, but, BUT... 3 days of 8.30am classes is lethal!!! The tinge of apprehension for the new sem is bugging me. Hope that I'll be able to survive.

Facial was therapeutic... Two more days to weekend! Hooray!

Tiring Day

2004-12-28T13:02:00.000+08:00

I was slogging away yesterday. Clearing up the after-exams debris was too much of a chore for the physically-challenged like me. Yeah, I know, it's been at least 5 weeks after my final paper.. and the results were already out long ago. Getting my lazy bones to work is just like trying to start some rusty engine. IT TAKES TIME. I have cleared up and put away most of my notes. But there is still a huge chunk of junkies that I have kept for years (some dating as far back as 9 or 10 years ago!). It's going to be a painful decision if I have to throw it. So, they are still sitting in my study room, occupying considerable space.

I dont know why I just love holding on to, what my mum termed them as junks. Wondering when will I eventually bear to part with them...

Had a short but not-so-satisfying nap after the labour. Woke up in a haze to prepare to go out and meet Jen for dinner at Baker's lounge. Food was reasonable. We had a good chat, laughing over how ridiculous some people can get. There is of course some serious notes behind all the jokes after all. LIFE! And she managed to reason with me on some personal matters.

Going to get back some of my stuff fr Jon tmr. I cant wait to get a brand new start. My decision shall stand.

Boxing Day Greetings!

2004-12-26T18:39:00.000+08:00

Xmas eve was slow and easy. Met up with YC for a brief dinner at Bedok. It was a simple hawker fare. Received a box of pralines from him. They tasted heavenly! Esp after using up so much energy for my dance show at Hawaiian BBQ! hee!

Xmas day itself was madness! Was in church for the late morning service. Had a sinful lunch at Jack's place with Angela and Serene. Received a shawl from Angela. It was such a thoughtful gift cos i was deciding whether to get a brown shawl for quite a while. She gave me another corporate planner which looked really nice and sleek. But, im not sure if i'd the chance to use it. Ive been getting too many planners and I can only choose to work with one. Aww, no wonder it is often said that we are just too spoilt for choices in life!

It's been a long time since Ive patronised Jack's place. The Q was horrible and seemed especially cruel when our stomachs were growling. Joined the heat of Mango sales at Iseatan after lunch. Walked out of the place cos I simply cant beat the wrestling and jostling of the crowd. And crap! I think guys shld be banned from the ladies' boutique! They are such a hindrance. Arrgghhh..

After my 20 mins ordeal with the shoppers, I headed for tea with YC at coffee club. Qs again! Goodness... Headed home to rest and change before having another sinful meal with Marcus. Then, it was drinks with Amy and gang at Circular Rd. Lucky thing that it was just Chivas with green tea and I could get away with the night, ALIVE!

Yesterday's sermon was about what are the things that really matter in our lives and more specifically, in God's eyes. The pastor made a reference to an example whereby a couple was on the verge of divorce when the wife decided to pen down a 100 reasons why she loved her husband. The husband was moved by her gesture and the marriage was salvaged. In this example, love was shown to be the real thing that mattered to the couple, as compared to the deep conflict they were in. Drawing an allusion to my present situtation, Im getting confused once more. Should I stay firm with my decision?

"If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing."- Marc Chagall.

Some silly stuff extracted from "The Healing Arts"

2004-12-22T22:10:00.000+08:00

Robert Graves
1895- 1985

A Slice Of Wedding Cake

Why have such scores of lovely, gifted girls
Married impossible men?
Simple self-sacrifice may be ruled out,
And missionary endeavour, nine times out of ten.

Repeat 'impossible men': not merely rustic,
Foul-tempered or depraved
(Dramatic foils chosen to show the world
How well women behave, and always have behaved).

Impossible men: idle, illiterate,
Self-pitying, dirty, sly,
For whose appearance even in City parks
Excuses must be made to casual passers-by.

Has God's supply of tolerable husbands
Fallen, in fact, so low?
Or do I alwayd over-value woman
At the expense of man?

Do I?
It might be so.

Dorothy Parker
1893-1967

Unfortunate coincidence

By the time you say you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying--
Lady, make a note of this,
One of you is lying.

Disappointing Day

2004-12-22T21:40:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to watch a modern dance performance today. But Map was sick and I dont really wanna go alone. Though Im not exactly alone, most of my friends are going with their own clique or with their other half. So, I guess it's better to give up the tickets instead. Aww, what a waste!

I have decided to take up a dance show assignment on Xmas eve. Since I dont have any dates, it might not be a bad idea to earn some extra cash. Gonna be in church on Saturday for the late morning service. Hmm, and NYE celebration prob gonna be in church as well. At least it beats wrestling with the crowds! Oh yeah, will be trekking at Bkt Timah Hill on Boxing Day with my comm members. Looking forward to it! =)

For some reasons, I really cant wait to send off 2004. It's not really a good year for me. First, it was the horrible attachment period. And then, some disappointment in my love life, followed by two months of miserable hall life and school stress. And more disappointment ensued at year end. Sigh!

New Year Resolution

2004-12-21T14:04:00.000+08:00

Was all worked up in the morning. My PC almost failed me at the most critical moment. Everything was on the standby when it was 9 mins to the registration time. When Im left with 3 mins to go, my PC just shut down automatically without any warning. How could that happen? Muttering a lil' prayer to God, I restarted my comp with bated breath. Yeah! Just in time to login for the 1pm registration! Managed to register for the elective that I wanted.

Various resolutions have been sprawling all over my mind in these 1 or 2 weeks.. Hmm, perhaps I should get my thoughts organised now. Hope that next year's gonna be an eventful one. I just wanna treasure school life...

So here it goes:

Bag more As and drive away the Cs and Ds-- Oh yeah, my goal is to get an honours. Let me be abit more consistent and diligent in Year 2005. I wanna be nearer to my goals.

Stop reminiscing and not to let the past bog me down-- Whatever had happened should be left behind. Im not going to let the past burden me and carry forward to the new year.

Be more happy and cheerful-- Hope that I won't let anything get me down and practise the habit of being happy. Gotta learn to have a thanksgiving heart so that I wont make things difficult for myself.

Looking good and being healthy will be part of my effort to do well in my studies and be more cheerful... hahazz. So I'd better start an exercise and skincare regime! Gotta devour more fruits n veggie to maintain the healthy glow (as advised by my beautician! hee!). Yeah, gonna work harder to look good and maintain a healthy lifestyle... so that I'll look young forever. hahahaz! You wont believe this! but im really worried abt aging and sagging! I dont want to turn into a hag so soon..

To better juggle my time-- No time isnt an excuse anymore! Gotta use my time wisely so that I can pick up more books and do a dozen of more meaningful stuff. that includes building up a stronger relationship with God!

If I cant fix the mess, Im gonna leave it behind with time. Year 2005 is gonna be a year for me to start afresh and create great memories to keep! Cant wait to send 2004 off, though it meANs that term's drawing near!

SHoPping...

2004-12-17T08:59:00.000+08:00

Went shopping on my own yesterday. All thanks to my sis who played me out at the very last minute! hmmp! Bought for myself an eye-lash curler from ANna Sui (it was highly recommended by friends) and 2 CDs--- one of them was by contemporary pianoist, Pual Cardall, and the other one was a Jazz compilation. Was looking high and low for the barbie doll watch that one of the kids wanted. But i still couldnt find it! Im still short of school shoes and the barbie doll watch to make my list complete.

Im quite contented with my load. Feeling kinda exhuasted at the end of the day. ShoPping alone obviously doesnt help to ease my agony from the breakup. Aww, im falling back into sleeping difficulties again.

Sorry is the hardest word?

2004-12-16T11:06:00.000+08:00

Had a hand on the cashflow game yesterday. It was so interesting! It was a long coffee over a heart-to-heart session with Map before the cashflow thing.

The whole day had been fantastic until Ive decided to tell Jon once and for all that everything shld be put to an end. It had been on my mind all the while.. I really didnt wanna spit it out just before his birthday and when he's at his busiest. Everything was settled with less than 5 sms-es. I felt really bad. But I just couldnt act as if there were no issues between us. I just gotta admit that we are simply not suitable for each other. I know that no matter how apologetic I am, it still doesnt mitigate the damage that Ive already done. The word "Sorry" was repeated at least 3 times last night. Couldnt sleep well cos I just felt so upset.

There isnt any point dragging it any further. I dun wanna waste his time. I mean, I did gave it a shot. But Im really convinced that we cant be together. Furthermore, Ive got to concentrate on my studies. Getting an honours is just too important to me.

Yeah, Im extremely selfish... Go ahead and call me a heart-breaker.

But look, it wasnt easy for me to go through this. I dont want things to turn out this way. If I had a choice, I would have wished that we had never met.

Im not to be blamed for this entirely. He had a part to play by pushing me too fast. Whatever it is, there's no use debating this issue now. All i Know is that this is an unpleasant process. I guess im always better off alone. And probably destinated to be alone...

Sleeping Beauty

2004-12-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

I have never thought that a local production by Singapore Dance Theatre could be so enthralling. Mistook the Sleeping Beauty that I watched last night with the one produced by The Imperial Ice Stars. But it was a beautiful mistake! I ended up watching an enchanting ballet at Esplanade yesterday night.

Im considering if I should get the tickets for the other version of Sleeping Beauty by the Imperial Ice Stars. But the tics gonna burn a gigantic hole in my pocket. It'd cost me 100 odd to get the same kinda seats that ive got for yesterday's performance! BUt BUt BUT... Im very sure that it's going to be an even more stunning ballet performance. Ballet on ice--- prob the first in S'pore! How can one miss Olympic-winning-ice-skating medalists in action? Aww, Santa Claus, pls grant me my wish! hahhazz...

Had a good time doing recce for Befrienders' outing. My only regret was not bringing my cam along to capture the breath-taking view of Upper Pierce Reservior. It's so so soOoooo beautifuL... Love the natural landscape that framed the reservior... aww, next time!

Spinning around in a plethora of liberated inhibitions.

2004-12-12T14:01:00.000+08:00

Aww, been drinking quite abit these two days. Got tipsy on vodka sprite and 5 or 6 shots of special house mix at East side on Friday. Lucky me! Managed to slip away from Tequila shots.

Saturday was a treat to Ice Wine with YC after watching Alexander. hmm, produced in New Zealand, belonging to the 2002 vintage... I found it pretty smooth and refreshing but YC said that the vintage that he tried the other time was sweeter. It's a great pity that we did not have any desserts to go with the drinks. Im not a great fan of wine (and definitely not a good drinker as well!) and I seriously marvel at how some ppl can finish a full-course wine dinner! But it's definitely something exciting!

Alexander was a great show. I love ancient warriors and the mysterious Greek culture that accompanied the story. More importantly, I love the realistic portrayal of the film. The theme boiled down to one simple argument. Can the leader's actions be justified as doing good for his people or are they the means of achieving his personal ambition? Is a leader for himself or for the people? To be honest, I believe on the former.

In the film, we see his popularity declined as he expanded his terrority east-ward. His soldiers wanted to go home and be with their family. But Alexander's ambitions were strong, like before. Their goals were now incongruent and Alexander was being accused of not being understanding.

I do question his motive of invading other countries. To do good? To liberate them from the rule of the so-called-Babarians? He claimed that they were a civilised nation and the land of good. He wanted to bring his father's ambition further. But is it really for his own glory?

In some sense, I do see it as an allusion to America's very own history of invasion of other countries under the same pretext. I question Alexandra's motives in the same way as ive questioned the political motives of the ascent of communist's power by defeating the KMT in the early days of China.

To be fair, it might be true that invasions could be justified as a good cause for the civilians. However, things would spun out of control if the leader gets too caught up with his own ambitions and stubbornly refuses to acknowledge his mistakes, eventually passing on the catastrophe to many others. What is worse is that they persist in believing that their actions (as a result of their high ambitions) are for the people.

But taking the people to war is the most dreadful thing to do. I agree whole-heartedly with Michel de Montaigne that, "...what cannot be accomplished by reason, and by wisdom and tact, can never be accomplished by force." But I also agree that history do repeat itself.

(I hate to vet my blog entries. Do forgive me if there are tons of grammatical flaws and things that doesnt quite make sense... Im departing just a bit from sanity. No, IM NOT DRUNK! But, it's just the hang ups from the wine.)

Mandatory medical test for couples before marriage?

2004-12-06T13:57:00.000+08:00

Throw me the question and I'd not hesitate to tell you that it's a splendid move! No doubt honesty is the foremost important ingredient in building a relationship. However, the sad truth is presented at the table now-- You would never know what the other party could be hidding from you. Certainly, no one would want to discover the undesirable secret only after marriage.

Im not trying to sow discord among dating couples. But, I just want to highlight the fact that not everyone is honest about everything and you cant expect a complete disclosure from your partner. There you go! My cynism is setting in again.

While everything may look good on the surface, you wont really know. Take the CAO meltdown as an example. Who would have thought that such a reputable company could go debt-ridden with its' ridiculous speculative dabbles in derivatives? I heard about this tragic tale some years back. My lecturer's friend was married to this man who was divorced with a kid, out of what-she-thought-to-be-LOVE. Later, she contracted VD from this man. It was beyond my imagination to phantom the betrayal and hurt the victim had to go through! She had done more than enough to accept a divorcee with a kid. What she got in return was lies and a heap of miseries that plagued her soul and physical being!

To make medical test mandatory would serve a useful purpose for pre-wed couples to decide whether they are serious about taking the maritial oath-- to remain together and be there for each other in weak health. It ease up things because some couples may it difficult to agree on such an arrangement themselves.

And to withhold crucial health and financial information from one's fiancee is an irresponsible thing to do. It tantamounts to being a liar! How can you entrust your happiness to such a person?

Leave the cherished idealism of love aside, I mean, not all can accept marrying a bankrupt or someone with a medical background. What's the point of being a "scammer" and try to get the other party into marriage by painting a deceptive picture perfect? Such people must be the meanest and most selfish creatures on earth. How can you ruin another person's lifelong happiness? I can never comprehend the force that can compel one to commit such a sinister act!

Dont get me wrong. It's not that I'm that mindful about everything. But the bottom line still boils down to two important issues. First, it's about honesty and trust between the two parties who are supposedly to be in love. Second, if one party refuses to disclose important facts during the dating stage, he or she is lost in self-deception. Do you think you can really get away by keeping hush-hush? If the other party cannot accept your background, then tell me, why do you wanna get married? Stop deceiving everyone and get alive!

Though I can shamelessly admit that Im a selfish freak, I would certainly not hand on horrendous misery to someone else. Yes, Ive got my own personality flaws (and probably tons of it). But I'd rather my partner discover it than trying to act like Im a descended Angel from heaven. What convince me of real love is someone who can accept me for who I am.

2004-12-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

Me and Jen.. Met up for Dim Sum buffet lunch at SRC with her two other colleagues.

2004-12-04T23:25:00.000+08:00

Zoo outing... (top to bottom): Me and... erm, Ive forgotten her name! urrggghhh, my apologies darling!. Next, Tai Yuan and me at the playground. Yepz, he kept saying that he wanna marry me! Two sweeties on the swing...

2004-12-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

Xmas Party at Y-hub... (Top to bottom) Left: Me and the adorable Jia Qi, Digging in the "Treasure Cove", Wild and excited. Right: Curious and stunned, What lies beneath the heap of trash?, Tai Yuan in action.

YMCA Xmas Party

2004-12-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

The Xmas party at Y-hub was fabulous! Had lotsa fun teasing the kids (and perhaps, also being teased by the kids as well. hee!)

Had a sinful dinner with Jon at East Coast Food Village. Stingray, satay and a plate of greasy "cai lan" in oyster sauce. EEk! I finished up all the 20 Hershey's drops that Jer gave me! PLEASE KILL ME!!! Slash my flabby tumMy first. Nopez, you wont see blood at sight. You will more likely find oil oozing from the wound!

Just found a nice dining place at East Coast- Pasta Fresca (I hope Ive got the name right). It's the perfect dining ambience I have in mind. With tables and chairs set on the sand, it is close enough to the shore to feel the gentle breeze. You can take ur time to gaze at the liners in the distance after you had your fill. I gonna smuggle my Ice wine into the restaurant next saturday and enjoy it under the moonlight, after the restuarant close at 11pm! uHhhh-hOo! Will bug YC to get some dessert wine. Perhaps I could get some chocs to go along... mar-vel-lous!

ConfeSsions of aN inCorRigibLe GLutton!!!

2004-12-03T11:26:00.000+08:00

Shouldnt the title be "RePentaNce Of aN incorrigibLe gLutton" instead?

Pardon me if u hafta squint and pry open your eyes as you try to decipher my message that alternates from capital letters to small letters. It's really a die-hard habit.

The past few days had been pretty fun and fulfilling. Went to the zoo on Monday with the DSA kids. One of them kept saying that he wanna marry me! Got quite exasperated. It was no mean feat dealing with some of the kids who can be really tempermental. But it was really fun. Spent wednesday at home WATCHING (look, it's absolutely neccessary that i highlight this) Jon cook sphagetti and delivering the savory lunch in total delight. Yummy! It's been at least 2 or 3 months since Ive last indulged in delectable sphagetti with its plentiful ingredients swimming in the thick and rich mushroom gravy. i just love home-cooked sphagetti. I can dictate how I want it to be. Absolutely in the way I like it! Experimented with pizza-making later in the afternoon. 4 small-sized pizza shared among my sis, Jon and me. And mind you, that's not all! Had a few slices of salmon and chocs for supper after I returned home from the YMCA meeting. SinfuL Wednesday!

Thursday's lunch was dim sum buffet with Jen and her two colleagues. They were flabbergasted by the truly "astonishing" horrors of our stint with KP. Yes, we can now amuse ourselves by re-telling the tales in a jovial and probably sarcastic manner. In reality, it has done much damage and devastated my interest in accounting. But I do have to confess that making the big steer in my path was kinda impulsive. It's an admission that the decision to abstain from accounting and escape from the evilness of the corporate world was indeed an extreme one. I was too intimidated by the complexity. The ubiquity of stiff competition is something that I thought was impossible for me to handle.

BUT again, I believe in God's will. If teaching wasnt really something meant for me, I wouldnt have been successful at the interview despite of my burning fever on that day.

Still, Im apprehensive about my future. My route for the next 7 years or so have been paved. When others talk about what they see themselves in 10 years' time, I could picture myself as someone no more than a rather fresh educator, earning just enough to keep my stomach filled. I cringed because I cant see a stronger self in the near future. Im an ambitious lady. I yearn for a quality life. My blazing desires for material needs can never be diminished. It can only get stronger. But, I have yet to figure out the means of achieving my ends.

Someone asks me why am I always depressed. My lofty ambition is the answer.

I need to be more focused in the coming year and stop frittering away precious time on the so-called "brainless activity". My self-discipline and the ability to focus has been diminishing. I badly need a fix!

For now, ive got an urgent issue to resolve... gotta watch what I'll be eating in the coming weeks and reckon a way to work off those extra kilos. ANd geez! Ive got a bbq tonite! this entire week has been overladen with food! and it's barely close to xmas... what will become of me when sch starts???

Party time

2004-11-27T10:50:00.000+08:00

Guess wad? I went to Zouk's mambo for the second time on wed! I hv kinda sworn to myself that I won't set foot on Zouk again-- at least for a mambo nite.. But that day was an exception. My bro was there. so were a few other friends. But still, it was a wrong move. Shld hv gone to Dbl O for drinks instead.

Thu was spent clubbing at mdm wong. It was so boring! I had more drinks than movements on the dance floor! It was so unlike me! urggghhh...

Fri- meeting at YMCA. We ended up changing our programme again. But well, Im not too mindful about efficiency and meeting deadlines when im working with YMCA projects. I seriously feel that being able to have fun and learn at the same time is more important than anything else.

Met K on mambo nite. So surprised to see the drastic change in him! HAvent seen him for close to 2 yrs. He's really a changed person, from inside out! Change in mentality and appearance.. Im happy for him. Changing for the better is the best thing that can happen to anyone in life. Life is a huge moving wheel. We have to adapt and improve ourselves from time to time. I guess it's part of growing up. Growing up happens to everyone. it's not just adolescents who are going throu this. Growing up can be a change in mentality. It doesnt mean that you possess all the so-called "correct" principles and attitude in life if you r already 40 or 50. People and situations change. Some people changes from a highly rigid person, to someone who is less flexible. Some experiences emotional or spiritual change.

CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE!

well, changes cut both ways. It can be good or bad especially in a relationship. Be it family ties or the passion in a romantic r/s... Leave it to you ppl to ponder over the truth of this..

Im going back to the bookfair on Sunday! yeah! heezzz...

An Interestingly absurb poem from "The Healing Arts"

2004-11-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

Philip Larkin
1922- 1985

This be the Verse

(extracted from pg 17)

Im really sorrie abt the f-words... but here it goes!

They f**k you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f**ked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And dont have any kids yourself.

Well, it sounds like an angry poem, written by someone who was obviously fed up with the way things were.

Though absurd, I feel that there are some truth in it esp in the last stencil... "Man hands on misery to man.." and "dont have any kids yourself." hahahazzz...

I agree with all my heart that raising kids is no mean feat. Providing for their needs is already a big financial burden... Educating them is yet another huge concern. My point of view as at 23rd Nov... hahahhaazzz

Shutter

2004-11-22T13:04:00.000+08:00

Watched Shutter yesterday. It was a horrific Thai show. hehehe... Lesson for u guys: Never ever cheat on a girl... or else, u will bear the consequences. Do i sound like a man-hating bitch here? Yeah, you guys must be thinking that Im pro-feminist, bitchy and crazy after reading my entries which seemed to stereostype and isolate certain male species. I guess I will abstain from the horror genres for a while though.

Went to Cheesecake cafe after the show. Been a long time since Ive last visited the place... Where's my New York Cheesecake????????? Or hv i rem wrongly? gotta ask Den or M abt it!!! hahahazz... Anway, there was this kid who came over to chat with me. She's really so cute!!! She's pretty talkative and bold at her age. Guess she must be no older than 6 or 7 yrs old. Noticed that Ive been bumping into lil cuties whenever Im with Jon these days. Kids can be cute n fun. But i think they always exploit this fact and use it to get away with their acts of mischief most of the time. Arrggghhh... they look so monstrous when they misbehave! I gotta find a way to tackle the kids in my church ministry before they get me! *Evil grinz*

Bride and Prejudice on Wed... great!

Great hunts that I'd like to recommend:

1. Cheesecake cafe at Siglap

2. TCC at Circular Road

3. Beach bar at east coast

4. Altivo at Mt Faber

5. Embargo (Not sure if it's still operating)

6. Gallery Hotel cafe

7. China Square pubs and restaurants (if u enjoy nice alfresco and somewhat romantic wine and dine ambience. Some pubs offer pretty competitive prices for drinks.)

8. Chijmes (Same model as China Square. But more on the pricy side.)

Most of them have got comfy couch seats and kinda secluded (or else, they wont be on my recommendation list!) Hahaz. No worries abt the crowd on weekends except for cheesecake cafe.. Beach bar and Altivo are non-aircon areas but take ur time to enjoy the breeze and scenaric view! =)

Im hoping to discover more!

Chocolates buffet and bookfair

2004-11-20T20:41:00.000+08:00

Another pic at home after bookfair

These two days had been enjoyable... Went to chocolate buffet with Jon yesterday. The variety was kinda limited. Thought I would have a feast of choices and nibble away huge chunks of dark chocs. Haha! The tiramisu thing was sOOOooo nice! Choc drinks are not that bad. Atmosphere would have been better if I had made the reservation earlier. We were seated at the bright corner. The seat wasnt that comfy. Urggghhh, cant beat the fondue thingy at Gallery Hotel! Overall, it was a fantastic nite with the soft drizzle and lotsa kisses... hahaz... I just love the rain..

Went for the bookfair with Maple today. bought lotsa books at great prices. Hardcover stuff costs about 7 or 8 bucks only! goodness! Im still thinking if I should get the collection of Claude Monet masterpieces at 12 bucks and another book on dolls at 13 bucks. Both are hardcovers... and really beautiful!!!! i love renaissance and impressionistic art works... there was another book on photography. It features artistic depiction of bodies and movement. really nice! but i doubt im going to even consider getting that though it consists superior pieces. guess i still treasure the classical genres. =P

Im kinda afraid that I would go gaga over doll collections after reading the books. It's gonna be another hobby that will burn my pocket.

The books are really heavy... haiz, should hv made arrangements to go with YC. At least, ive got a car to dump my books in. hahazz...

Im marvelling at myself... I mean how much Ive changed over the years. used to be a spendthrift and a frivolous fashion victim. I nv tot of investing my money into books. Nv really tot of saving up my money. Geez, take a good look at me now! Im sOooo into personal finance mgt. Thinking of saving for retirement and property investment at this age! Beginning to hate impractical stuff as well. Just rem the rose conversation I had with Elaine, Tra, Dorling and Chai Li on thu... aww, prematured aging! damn...

A cranky guy approached me today. Thought he was asking for directions but he was trying to befriend me. I was surprised that no sarcastic words came from my mouth. if it was a few yrs back, i might have snapped at him and said, "I dun fancy cheena guys!".. He actually followed me all the way to the taxi stand! duhzzz... But well, i have learnt not to be so bitchy and cocky anymore.

I cant wait to indulge in the books ive bought. Might make a trip bk to get the dolly book.. Oh man, I love beautiful things!! going to the lib to read up more on artworks... Im hoping to catch some classical dance or visit some arts exhibition for this hols... And im beginning to love learning more and more.. Not because of achieving good grades for exams anymore. but really for the sake of filling my brains with intelligent stuff. Learning is so fun... only if MOE cld do away with exams!!! grades can depress and demoralise me sOOOooo much! Anyway, hope that this hols will be a fulfilling one..

Oh yeah, im thinking of getting an electronic dictionary. Let me decide how practical it is... =)

I gotta go throu my accounting stuff later. Going to tutor Kun for his paper on Mon. A good time for me to recap what ive learnt in Poly... Tmr will be another great day, I believe... so long as there is no exams or assignment deadline anxiety... hahahahazzz...

2004-11-20T20:37:00.000+08:00

Taken at home...

Academic Jokes (July sem 2004)

2004-11-18T10:03:00.000+08:00

Haha, just wanna do a recap of the funny happenings in school..

Joke 1

Tutorial discussion on build-up of Mao's personality cult

Dr Wang(posing question to me): What is the legitimacy for CCP tp rule?

Me: ....

Beng: What do u mean by legitimacy to rule?

Dr Wang: Good question! (and he said sth like he will tell us the next lesson..)

MSN conversation at night with Beng

Beng's nick: What is legitimacy? Tell me the next lesson!

Joke 2

MSN conversation with En on the eve of final paper

En's nick: I will have another best friend tonight- Chairman Mao

Me: I just found out that Elvis has got an uncircumcised penis, Lennon has a homosexual r/s with his manager and Hitler has got a missing testicle.

(P/S: The above is based on Albert Goldman's and Robert Waite's account.)

En: Mao is gay too!

(Based on "Private Lives of Mao". )

Mao was alleged to have raped his twenty-yr-old bodyguard.

En (re-replaying the scenario): Tong Zi, ni lai... dao zhe li lai...

Crude and lame jokes yah? Well, that's our way of relieving stress. Im sOooOOoo glad to have my break now! hahaz! But im keeping my fingers crossed. Hope that I wun faint when i check out the results on the 15th.

Watched taxi yesterday. Oh man, why must there always be sexist elements in shows? Why does the sexy and voluptous ladies deserve more attention than the smart daredevil heroine?

Going to catch another show today with Elaine, Tracia and Dorling.

So, wazzup for the next five or 6 weeks?

Next week's agenda:

Movies and shopping with my sis and god-sis (a good way o smoking out their preference for xmas gifts)

window-shop for xmas gift (but i gotta come up with a list of what-to-get-for-so-and-so before this)

make a facial appointment (prob on fri)

get some books to read (hoping to finish at least one book per week. reasonable target cos i'll be out most of the time.

check out the dates for SGX workshops

Do some planning for YMCA's next comm meeting

2004-11-17T20:13:00.000+08:00

The pics taken on Monday with Jen, are finally ready. But ive decided to just upload this one... =P

High tea with Jen @ SRC

2004-11-15T19:59:00.000+08:00

Had a fantastic time with Jen today. We chatted a great deal and took many crazy pics together. My digi-cam has been under-utilised u see.. hahaz! Will upload the pics here soon. Received a really early x'mas gift from her today. Kinda surprised! Well, im looking forward to my own xmas shopping after the exams!

Just realised how small Singapore is! Jen happened to know Kian Wee as well... How coincidental!

Agenda for tonite:

COMPLETE CHINA HISTORY!!!!!

I cant believe what Ive been doing! been taking days off to go out... And my progress is SLOW!!!!!!!! arrGGGhhhhh! where's my motivation to get my honours??? or did i realise that it was too unattainable and decided to give it up in my sub-conscious mind?? hahaz.. Anyway, I think im really experiencing some serious sleep disorder. Too much of coffee can hurt u! BEWARE!!! =P

Insomnia, exams anxiety and hyperactivity (at the wrong time)

2004-11-15T11:02:00.000+08:00

Geez, Im feeling the aftermath of overdosage of caffeine! cant slp until 4 plus this morning. And i got up slightly after 8am! my sinus is seriously depriving me from sleep... esp during the dreamy wee hours. Let me recall how ive been spending my time frivolously for the past one week after my Maths paper.

I wasted wed and thu. Spent the whole Friday unfruitfully. Was 3/4 into the biography of John Lennon. UrrGGghhh.. it's full of what-Goldman-believed-to-be inane chews of his sex life and remote incidents that could possibly make him a psychotic star. goodness! i gave up that topic cos there's so much to read. After Lennon, I still gotta read up more absurdities on Elvis. More "juicy" stuff to hit! I'll prob come back to it tmr if ive got the time. But high possibilities that I wont!

Spent Saturday covering psychoanalysis of Hitler. More ridiculous readings on why one biographer believed that he had a missing testicle and why the other was skeptical about the rumour. Tell me, what's the big deal about his sexual depravity or how many testicle(s) he has got?

Wonder whether it is really human's nature to be so fascinated by the speculation of the sexual aspects of legendary figures. Thank god that Im just an anoymous low-profile student. I can never imagine anyone writing such stuff about me after I depart from this world!

oh yeah, i also side-tracked a great deal on sat, reading things that arent really related to Hitler. hahaz... it's a great deal more interesting rather than being screwed to the argument on whether Hitler was mad or evil.

there was this article on a psychiatric test conducted on 40 men to test if human would have no qualms about being cruel if they were instigated by a superior authority to carry out such duties.

the 40 men (subjects of the experiment) were introduced to a 47-yr-old accountant. the real objective of the experiement was not revealed to them and they were told that the accountant was the "subject" of the experiment instead.

The accountant was brought into a room and strapped onto an "electric chair". The subject was given a list of word-associated questions and answers. Each subject would be kept in a room that is seperated from the accountant by a glass panel. The question would be posted to the accountant over the microphone. An authorative figure would be present to monitor the experiement.

Each time the accountant gave a wrong answer to the question, the subject would be asked by the authorative figure to deliver an "electric shock" to the accountant. the voltage of the shock would be increased after each mistake. for example, for the first mistake, the voltage would be 100 V. and subsequent mistakes would result in increments of say, 100 V each time. There was a range of voltage and 350 V could result in death. 400-450 V was marked with XX. The subject was fully aware of the consequences of each additional shock.

As mentioned, the aim of the experiment was not disclosed to the subject. Hence, the "electric shocks" were not real and the accountant was safe throughout the whole experiement. take this as a role-play thing.

What was the reaction of the subject?

Well, most subjects, upon hearing the painful grunts and agonising screams of the accountant, asked the authorative figure if he could stop the experiement. The authorative figure would decline them for at least five or six times before they stop the experiment.

It was found that two thirds of the 40 subjects delivered the shock up to 450 v. recall that 350 v was enough to cause death! Hence, it was concluded that under authorative pressure, human beings are induced to commit acts of brutality. The experimenter noted tensed behaviour like bitting of nails, hammering one's fists on the table etc during the test.

this experiment makes me ponder whether Mao or his henchmen were the real evil...

Ok, yesterday was slightly more fruitful... started on China history. But, after doing some readings on China History, i decided that I should read up on Lennon n Elvis to play safe cos Im not too well-versed with the communist politics though I crap tons of it here... heezzz!

Hope that I'd be able to complete China History by today.. Oh yeah, Im supposed to meet Jen later for shopping and coffee.

The holiday mood is distracting me from my revision schedule! Cant wait for exams to be over!!!

2004-11-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

Rave Pageant

My letter to God today

2004-11-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

Please help me to be wise up. Falling into a pit and then learn how to climb out of it is a learning experience. But God, I want to be able to see the pit and know how to avoid it instead. A fall is too painful a price to pay for a lesson.

Help me not to fall into the same pit again. COs that can only happen to a fool.

Grant me the strength to cover the pit and get alive! Protect me from people who schemes to push me into the pit. Guard my soul and mind so that it wont get exploited by others.

Let me see light in life and not be trapped in the vicious pit of cynicism. I dont want to deviate from your teachings again. Your words are the truth and light themselves. Going against your teachings is the most silly mistake one can commit in life. Lord, I have realised, and truly regret my mistakes. Help me, Lord!

Allow my heart to accomodate only the truly sincere one and lock it there ALWAYS. Guide me, Lord, so that I know who deserves my love and who doesnt.

Thank you, God, for I know, no matter what, you'll still be here with me. So long as I turn to you and place my trust in you, you will never let me off the edge.

Everything and everyone will change. Man will always fail. But in you Lord, I find eternal love, strength, solution and peace.

Yours sincerely,

Felicia Wong.

For reading pleasure...

2004-11-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

Guard against the following type of guys:

1. Guys who lie- No matter how small the lie is

2. Guys who doesnt tell you everything- They only explain things vaguely when the girlfriend has the absolute right to know.

3. Guys who were divorced- Such guys are usually less sensible. If not, why would they end up in divorce?

4. Guys who say "I Love You" too often and too early- Dont ever believe too easily! Establish what they say by looking for tangible facts! They may be saying it because they think it's what you would want to hear most.

5. Guys who makes promises too easily but cant materialise the promise in the end- They are bloody losers! Girls would prefer nothing rather than to be disappointed in the end.

(Disclaimer: The above is only for viewing pleasure. I shall not be held liable for any misrepresentation.)

2 papers doWn...

2004-11-10T19:36:00.000+08:00

Im done with maths today. goodness! ive lost 36 marks! history on mon was ok. got back my CEM assignment. Im pretty happy with the results. Managed a B at last for my assignment. =)

Things havent been going well for me and Jon. I dont know how to share this with my frens and im sure i wun tell just anyone abt it. i dUno hw aNy of my friends are going to react to the fact. Amy's the only person who knew abt it. Going out with YC later. so he'll be the next to know. will prob talk to Jen abt it as well. This thing had somehow affected my maths paper. but well, this sem was a flop. i just hope that things will be better next sem. i wanna start with the right foot...

But i have to thank god that things are pretty clear right now though it kinda hurt me... I wish i'd be wiser in the future...

Catching-up session

2004-11-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

Had a great lunch with my KPMG ex-colleagues on thu. Cheryl and Jen seem to be doing quite well with their new company. An Loon is pregnant! hahaz. Makes me wonder why am i that unlucky with my attachment. If it hadnt been KPmG, I might not have decided to move out of accounting field. but then again, it might not be the main reason. I AM CLUELESS.

Im burning high fr the exams fever! One more day to the first paper. Im feeling vexed, anxious and stressed out! cant wait for exams to be over.

Study... STUdy... STUDY!!!

2004-11-03T19:10:00.000+08:00

Exams fever is here. Spent the whole afternoon at Mac studying yesterday. The environment's quite conducive. Went hm at 9 plus and out again at 11pm with Zach for a breather. Geez! we took an hour before we settled dwn at East Coast's Macafe. The cafes at Siglap were all near closing time by the time we get there. Resumed studies at 2am till 3.44am.

I think Jon got a bit paranoid whn im coffee-ing with another guy at such an ungodly hour. Silly him!

Today's not very productive. I guess I really cant stay at hm to do my revision. Arrggghhh, hOpe that i'd have some progress later at night. but no more coffee for me! ive got an ulcer. Ouch!

Ladder 49

2004-10-31T01:56:00.000+08:00

Alrite, im not going to give a review abt Ladder 49. But just wanna throw in some thoughts and rid some sores. I just cant comprehend what's heroism. And also, draw the difference between being heroic and being stupid for me. I almost wept.. but im sorry, not for the "hero" (the inverted commas are not meant to be satirical. but before i figure out wad exactly makes a real hero, i shant be too generous in my decoration), but for the bereaved family.. Aww, im not being melancholic here btw!

I mean, wad's saving a life in exchange for ur own? Is it worth the mourning and the indelible agony that you are going to put ur loved ones through? co'mon, u r deserting ur loved ones! hw could u pay such a dear price for someone you dont even know! that's clearly prepostrous! Absurb! Totally ridiculous, illogical and senseless! arrghhh!

I cant stand a certain population of the male species for their overt concern over PRIDE, EGO and OVER-DIGNIFICATION! does it make u less masculine if you dont risk and stake all you have to extend a helping hand to ur buddies?

I almost idolize heroes in the past. Like, men in uniforms. See, the media and some civic education in school have drilled in the perfect image since my early days of childhood. great! but now, the picture perfect have been smashed. I have heard and seen too much. *I wouldnt wanna risk my life here by supplying the details* Im bordering on total conviction. Yank me from the verge if you can show me someone who's got a passion and dedication to the so-called noble cause.

I found that Im more in love with a pragmatic guy who cares about the implicated parties in his life. Nopez, i dont want a self-seeking freak nor a hero who will abandon his family for a "greater" cause. I just need someone who can strike a healthy balance. Now, do u get wad i mean by being a drifter myself? and at the same time, I wanted to be as simple and down-to-earth as life cld tolerate. I didnt contradict myself in my profile! haha!

Look, I know u r going to say that if everyone is as freaking selfish as me, who would take up break-necking and perilous jobs in the society? But u just need freaking ME to be the devil *HEEZ!!!**Yawnz* Im tired. Done with CTE test in the afternoon. Joined Zach at the library and managed to do a lil bit of revision. Left for town 4 plus, hoping to catch Manchurian Candidate. But heck, I ended up with Ladder 49. well, it's entertaining! gotta unwind before I go on full-fledged revision-gear next week.

And pls, God, please rip out my lazy bones and purge out the procratinating devil in me! I need to be more focused!

*off to bed*

3 alternatives to reach a better-organised me!

2004-10-31T01:12:00.000+08:00

Ive got 3 alternatives here:

Get a cheap Zircon PDA organiser which can cost less than 100 bucks and retain my current phone. Saves me a great deal of $$$
Pamper myself with a bit of luxury and get Zircon PDA phone (Z3) at $598. It's small and handy.
Wait for O2 XDA prices to dip or get a decent second hand.

So, take a vote! I cant wait to get a new toy... hahahazz

DisappOinted...

2004-10-29T09:45:00.000+08:00

I got back my CAH 102 assignments yesterday. Im soOOooo upset! I dun get it. Anyway, words can never articulate how I have felt at that moMent in tiMe. Is it plain disappOintment? Dissatisfaction? I just felt awashed with all sorts of emotion. For a minute, I questioned my motive to choose to be here. I really felt that there was no way to keep abreast with the fierce competition for good grades. There are better brains here. And I just felt...... erm, I onLy find "dUmb" the most convenient word to use now! arrGGGhhh!!! I just want a break soon... Once again, life has proven to be a miserable one... wad's life without unhappiness! wad da f**k. And im so sOrry that i have to "almost" swear (but i didnt spell it out upfront you see). anyway, im not responsible for underaged kids who happen to chance upon my blog. Just lemme turn this blog upside down for today yeah? cos im just soOooo displeased, disheartened and angRy WITH MYSELF! I have not put in enoUgh efforts alrite. So i cant blame anyone for my self-loathing state now!

Met Jon for lunch after class. His advice has apparently fallen on deaf ears. Oh well, I really dont know what to say about us.. He doesnt seem to understand what I really want and what I am really upset with. Anyway, i dun exactly need any advice, help or comfort. The crux of my prob lies with MYSELF!!

2004-10-27T11:27:00.000+08:00

Another creation of mine..

No escape!

2004-10-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

SIGH!!! I thought I could escape from preparing the tutorial for American War movies. BUT... my lecturer was only too smart. Gotta research and prepare the outline later. Oh crap! Im not intending to do the topic for exam. well, well, well, FELICIA, stop wailing, get cracking and get it done and over with!!!

My agenda for tonight: Get my concept straight on Divisibility and, Number system and Operation

My Favourite Edited Photo.. It's a bit creepy though. Looks like the poster of some kinda play or what. cant rem! Can anyone help?

2004-10-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

Fiery passion

Ive finished Wild Swans.. AT LAST!

2004-10-26T13:49:00.000+08:00

Alrite, after almost 2 months of tiny, segmented readings on the train and during my scarce free-time, Ive finally digested the 671 pages of Jung Chang's biography! Yeah, I know, the time frame that i took to complete the book was painfully long. It was an enjoyable book though. The book was bought by my mum abt a decade ago and I regarded it as another beautifuL collection on my gigantic book shelf (yeah babe, by far, i suppose none of my frens have a cupboard that's as big as mine-- solely for books!). The "cheena" greenish cover and the thickness of the book has put me off. Ive never lay hands on it till now cos it was one of my prescribed reading for History.

After my brief knowledge and study of Modern China History (acquired from personal readings and lessons), I think it's, erm (bad news!), adding more to my cynicism. yepz, im really weird alrite. But I just dont trust and believe in anything. to me nothing is absolute. My heart goes all out to those who have been so loyaL and faithful to the Communist Party. They've served the party with their life.. Mind you, it's their LIVES! What they got in return were injustice and brutality. The helpless victims were maliciously exploited to fulfill someone else's power mission.

I cower and squirm when people talk about loyalty to friends, or to whatever organisations it may be. I have to reiterate that NOTHING IS ABSOLUTE. Have they ever questioned what's the loyalty for? I guess ive more faith in the truth and what is right. Yes, very clearly, they are based on individual's discernments. But look, it is decided by YOU and influenced by no one!

After going through betrayals in friendships and relationship, I no longer believe in idealism. no doubt someone has told me that holding on to ideals makes life much more look-forward to. I dont wish to debate on this. I truely, honestly and sincerely respect this viewpoint. Everyone's entitled to live by their own principles. So long as they dont jeopardise someone else's interest.

I grew up knowing onLy fear and insecurity. Look, Im not blaming anyone. I was subjected to all sorts of threats if I dont work hard enOugh to score for my exams. Till now, I always feel inadequate of myself (that's prob how my insecurity sets in) because my parents never recognise my successes. Im being criticised for every minute mistakes and if things ever go wrong, it's always my fault, no matter what. Questioning the things that were dictated and forbidden by parents almost tantamounts to trespassing the law. Reasoning with them is impossible and beyond my contemplation. At one time, I really feel if Im a tool used by my parents to reap glory for themselves, for the success of their upbringing. Though the thought was driven out long ago, I nevertheless still live in fear and insecurity throughout my life.

My upbringing and personal life is quite parallel to Mao Zedong's reign. Oh well, Im NOT being satirical here. Im just trying to understand myself and my life better. Hmm, it's fair if u consider it as an humor element instead. But as the chapter unfolds, I cant help but keep comparing my parent's "dictatorship" with his reign. Nobody dared to challenge his motives. He held an unshakeably respectable position just like my parents. Again, ive to clarify that Im not criticising my parent's failure (or perhaps not) to build a warmer environment for me. I just feel that my parents have yet to understand how and why i develop certain principles that deviate from their own conventional set of "correct" principles in life. They hold a rigid rein over what they believed is right and Im going against them. They resent my behaviour in the same way I resent them for not being able to understand me.

Some people may insist that I have never made an effort to communicate and resolve the misunderstanding. But look, Ive only studied and learnt abt the importance and technicals of human communication in the recent years. After two decades of being stifled to keeping to my own thoughts, it's almost impossible to break out of it. Yeah, I know, you are going to debate that if i sincerely want to work on it, it could be done. but look here, if u were me, you 'd have feel tired and exhausted even before u begin! there's just so mUch and it's beyond my ability to articulate well, verbally. And i just feel so comfortable in my own world. I might nv wana step out of it again.

Whatever it is, I'm going to stick to my guns-- follow my own principles. It's not that Im anti-social alrite. But I just cant and dont wish to thrust my trust (geez! that rhymes! haha!) onto someone. I believe strongly and, allow me to replicate this line, NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS ABSOLUTE! Even my self-defined principles of life change at different stages in life, esp after going through indelible experiences.

Another sore that I would like to justify and, is what-i-would-perceive to be of pertinence to one of the themes in Wild Swans, is the importance of education. At a point, during the COmmunist regime, education was regarded as bourgeois. I personally thought it was ridiculous! I used to be deceived for a while, by people who would tell me that being highly qualified isnt everything. They would quote me a few examples of people who have succeeded with little education. Mao and his politicians imposed so much political controls over education that a large portion of the population were illiterate. In my own opinion, he was just being jealous of the intellectuals who might ursurp his power. In the same way, I recognised that the people who have indoctrinated the weird code in me actually show antipathy to education because they are academically-lacking. They prob feel better if the substance and value of education is being condemned.

I only started to enjoy learning during my internship period with KPMG. I often lament that ive chosen the wrong course. though i managed pretty good grades for some of the subjects, i have to confess that im just studying for the sake of studying. My detestation for auditing and accounting itself, has later, proved to be an obstacle in my work. Alot of incidents at KPMG made me realised im really too inadequate to keep afloat in the society. It has made me thirst for more knowledge and I began to appreciate school life more than ever in my life.

This had thus landed me in NTU/ NIE.. I yearn for a degree. Though my grades were pretty decent (mostly "A"s and "B"s), i was unable to successfully compete for a vacancy in Biz Ad. But well, perhaps it was God's plan to place me at NIE. I made through the interview and was selected to do a degree course in education. Here, Im grateful to learn so much from the history lessons cos they have really widened my horizon and enabled me to look at things in a more critical manner. The pressure to excel and achieve honours is immense though. but well, education do serve a practical purpose too *winkz* Im just being pragmatic. Yeah, not forgeting that being ambitious is another attribute of mine.. =) But well, I have already mentioned that I have shut idealism out. gotcha! =P

Vogue and Vamp

2004-10-26T12:00:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that make-up and photography are my favourite past-time. But im sorry, i cant take artistic human or geographic landscapes. Supremely revolting, horrendous, repulsive, ghastly, appalling and nauseating, what-I-would-call-masterpieces, are my so-called-real-fortes. yes, stop complaining or nit-picking me for my insanity. I know that Ive got to be the most accentric and crappy jUnkie u ever know. But hey! This is MY blog! dont u ever mind! heezzz... to add on, i shall deemed to not hold any reponsibilities or liabilities for any pubLic alarm caused. View at your own risk!

(p/s: the 3 masterpieces were taken earlier in the evening after i got home from school. There's a problem with my PC clock. that's why the time and date of the post appeared to be so funny. No biggies! i'll see if i can rectify the prob!)

What am i doing here??

2004-10-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

Oh dear, Im soooOoOoo addicted to my blog now. used to find it a chore to set up one myself. But, ive finally got the hang of it! Hooray!

Ive got lots of admin stuff to handle later on.

1. Submit my MC
2. Get hold of CTE mock test papers and answers from Elaine
3. Find out how to solve my CTM assignment problems
4. Submit claims for my medical expenses
5. Review draft with my CEm lecturer

My goal for tonite is to polish and finish up the damned CEM research paper! Wish me luck ppl! Ive only managed a 'C' the other time. arrgggHHhhh, my linguistic talents are that limited, you see. wish i could just bribe someone and write an impeccable piece on my behaLf!!! *EviL grinz* well, i have to check off one more agenda on my list NOW-- to scan in a copy of my MC.

2004-10-25T20:54:00.000+08:00

Approaching insanity-- desperate to break free from the world of illusion and deception

2004-10-25T20:52:00.000+08:00

Creepy black and whites

2004-10-25T09:44:00.000+08:00

Taken in Thailand.. Chao Praya river cruise

2004-10-25T09:41:00.000+08:00

Taken at some old shophouses near mhd sultan. In casual wear. I tink it was taken by Bob.

2004-10-25T09:21:00.000+08:00

Taken at Chijmes, in evening dress...

HELP ME!

2004-10-25T09:00:00.000+08:00

HOW do I go about posting my photos in my profile?

The wOrst is yEt to be over

2004-10-23T19:49:00.000+08:00

Following up on the mishap of my fall, I have an x-ray session with the doc this morning. X-ray results: fracture in between the third and fourth toe of right foot. The nurse bandaged my third n fourth toes to restrict the movement. im given MC till next wed. the first concern that struck me was, how I am going to get to school on mon for my feedback on the first draft of my research paper? the train journey to school is going to be dreary if someone's heels lands on my already crushed toes! Well, at the minimum, i gotta be thankful that operation is not required and im not being nudged by my mUm to see the scary chinese sinseh!

i'll stop wailing abt the mishap of my toes.. Something more painful surfaced today. I discovered that Ive got a wisdom tooth growing! it's painfuL! i hope there wont be a need to extract it. i really feel like crying. my wk's been utterly miserable! probably cos ive doNe sOmethiNg guiLty and God's pUnishing me! arrgghhh! this week's truly a "happening" one! geez! how am i going to study and do well for my exams??? Honours seem be even more unattainable now. im so depressed and hOpeless now.