It's Friday.. But..

It's Friday again. Add one more week to my stay in Australia please!

It's hard to believe how time flies. The sweet sleep in my cosy bed just the night before my departure doesn't seem to feel that far away. The "Last Thursday in Singapore" that I was talking about with Beng on MSN feels only like yesterday (taking into account that today's indeed Friday, "Last Thursday in Singapore" feels so real). It feels like it was only hours ago when I was fighting back my tears futilely as I watched my mum pulling out a piece of tissue to dry her tears discretely.

Yet, at the same time, I feel that I have been around for so long. That statement must have been the perfect irony.

So much things had happened and I was half-joking with Angela once, that it's a good bargain-- going through quite abit in merely three months. Yes, quite abit, in my own sense of measurement and capacity. I would understand if someone begs to differ. And that was three months, at the point of conversation.

I'm feeling so defeated now. I wouldn't dare to breathe my loneliness and weakness to anyone. I don't think I know where to start from either. I feel like I'm back to the bottom of the pit again. It's not solely because of work and being on my own most of the time that makes me feel sickened of everything. I'm just feeling so down and it annoys me even more when I can't put my fingers on things or even find the strength to pull myself out of the situation.

I really miss the times when I get knocked out the moment I hit my bed. The memories of the comfort of my own home smell so sweet, but sadly, too far away.

But well, God is always fair enough. Someone will always bring consolation at the most unexpected moment. Someone will always draw me away just before I hit the trough. And I thank God for these people...

To give a balanced view of my life here, I learnt to appreciate and came to recognise sincere friends. I certainly know that my poly friends will always be there to lend a listening ear (if I am able to put things across). Elaine's another sweetie who never stops showing her lil' gestures of concern and motivation. To top it all, I made my first real friend here!! In just three months! Cheers!

Just a pity that she'll be heading back to Thailand tonight. Nonetheless, she's a lovely gift from God and I'll never forget the chilly walk back from the dinner.. Our laughter seem to melt away the bitter-cold atmosphere on the streets.

Nothing's going to be too bad and hopeless. I HOPE...

Just another day of doing nothing

Im the biggest loser of the day. Wasted my time doing nothing much...

Did the laundry... I've just collected the clothes which were hung to dry yesterday. They are still sitting in the laundry basket, looking like a mass of wrinkled thrash.

What other stuff have i been doing? Just sleeping, surfing the net, tempting myself with new fashion designs and bitching with my friends on MSN about work. This is my typical sunday. U wont believe that I can just squander my time and do silly things like this right?

Yeah, I certainly did! Sitting on my ass and getting angry over things.

I hate people who are exploitative

I hate people who are unfeeling

I hate people who are blinded by the speck of dust in their eyes but never bothered to remove them, before they start to find fault with others

I hate people who are unsincere

I hate people who are pretentious

I hate people who cant lead by example

All in all, I just hate people who are crap.

Im just so damn irritated...

And im f**king angry with myself for wasting my time... how did i manage to sleep for so long???

I think Im crap too...

Little gestures that make a difference

Never under-estimate the power of little thoughtful gestures. It can make a huge difference and brightens up someone's day unknowingly.

El's unexpected mail really warmed my heart. It just brought light to my dreadful day. I have been feeling really down recently. Work bogged me down quite abit and I thought everyone's too far away to understand what I'm going through. I thought emails can never convey how upset I am.

Things got pretty complicated here. But it just surprised me that a simple letter that carries the essence of encouragement and support can make me feel so much better.

One lesson to be learnt today: We often do or say things unintentionally. It can either hurt or brighten someone's day unknowingly.

The other thing to learn is, I can be the only pilot of my own life. I can either choose to apreciate and RECOGNISE the simple gifts of life, or allow nasty things to upset me.

El has always been a thoughtful friend. That's probably one positive thing I need to pick up from her. I've made the mistake of saying awful things to the one I love and has unintentionally hurt them. I have got lots of people who cares and means alot to me. So, I'm not going to allow bad characters at work to bring me down.

Well, besides continuously learning new things about life, we shouldnt forget to seek positivity and appreciation in the gloomy environment that appeared to be plagued by bad elements. I'm still the happy lil' girl, and I'll live.. =)