Sorry is the hardest word?

Had a hand on the cashflow game yesterday. It was so interesting! It was a long coffee over a heart-to-heart session with Map before the cashflow thing.

The whole day had been fantastic until Ive decided to tell Jon once and for all that everything shld be put to an end. It had been on my mind all the while.. I really didnt wanna spit it out just before his birthday and when he's at his busiest. Everything was settled with less than 5 sms-es. I felt really bad. But I just couldnt act as if there were no issues between us. I just gotta admit that we are simply not suitable for each other. I know that no matter how apologetic I am, it still doesnt mitigate the damage that Ive already done. The word "Sorry" was repeated at least 3 times last night. Couldnt sleep well cos I just felt so upset.

There isnt any point dragging it any further. I dun wanna waste his time. I mean, I did gave it a shot. But Im really convinced that we cant be together. Furthermore, Ive got to concentrate on my studies. Getting an honours is just too important to me.

Yeah, Im extremely selfish... Go ahead and call me a heart-breaker.

But look, it wasnt easy for me to go through this. I dont want things to turn out this way. If I had a choice, I would have wished that we had never met.

Im not to be blamed for this entirely. He had a part to play by pushing me too fast. Whatever it is, there's no use debating this issue now. All i Know is that this is an unpleasant process. I guess im always better off alone. And probably destinated to be alone...